Darque Desires

First Icon

2004-09-29T12:55:03Z

I finally made my first Icon! Thanks to the tutorial by desdemona_x here

Anyways hopefully school will be ok. I have to finish my math homework sometime this morning. The groups seems to be fixing up ok. I will probably update this more during fourth hour when we are in the computer lab. Amber still hasn't got her part done, I need her to hurry so I can make the note cards. Then the other goof forced in our group tried to put his part on me, the poster. I did all the research, and I have to do the notecards for what I say as the MC.

Otherwise everything else seems to be going well wheee!

Oh god this class is so boring!! Bleh. Anyways mom said I can probably get a premium account on saturday. If I do I will probably be changing my username :p

Sadness

2004-09-27T23:45:53Z

Well a friend of mine is having a hard time. She happened to get in her boyfriends e-mail account. She found e-mails including ones from another girl has has been making out with. She is e-mailing how much she likes him and kissing him, however she doesn't like that his is also with another girl. The "another girl" is not my firend. So that makes 3 different girls he is with. Damn that just pisses me off. I do not know how she will get through this but I wish her all the best hope.

School is kind of boring. There is this blonde girl who is clinging to both the guy I like and the one a friend likes. So it spoiled it for both of us. SHe is just so clingy and by now we have now doubts she has gone pretty far with them already. Oh well. Maybe the slut-trash-bitches-of-the-universe do always get what they want.

Also in my group there are let's say many complications. Allison is in love shall we say obsessed with this gal named Kara. She lead us on the other day that Adrianne(not the clingy one but our friend) was in the D building having lunch in a big group. We are like ok, well we want to talk to her so we left for there. It ended up that Adrianne wasn't even there but only the group. Let's just say I don't like many people in that group so even with her there it was hard to come. From this point on I was pissed. Later Allison called Adrianne to tell her we were all there. All of this crap for Kara. Maybe I cannot stand her cause she acts like a royal bitch who thinks she should be waited on hand and foot. I don't like her. Even from my first instinct, and those have never been wrong except for one time.
Anyways I think allison will be leaving our group for Kara. Oh well, let her be a servant.

I feel like the middle man through Adrianne and Allison both ask me if the other hates them. I don't know. Noone can say that except the one that has the feelings. That is the person you should talk to.

Does life always have to be that confusing. We are only kids and going through adult problems. Kids smoking, drinking, killing, etc.. It shouldnt be like that. What will it be like in 20 years? You have to know that all these people won't be much of an improvement, but will take up the resources of the world. What will they teach their kids, and so on?

Oh well some things are just not meant to be understood. This must be one of them, what will the future hold. I can't wait for this mystery to unravel.

So so bored

2004-09-26T16:14:09Z

I can't believe how boring it has been. However mom and I have rented some movies so thats ok.

The assembly we went to was ok. I just didn't like how the cop kept saying so strongly about dont drink, you will die. He should of done more to safety precautions. Such as.. if you must drink have a designated driver. Stuff that would be useful.
Instead he just rambled on about the past.

WQhen the guy came to talk about his brother it was sad, a more live thing on how it can affect your life. So that was better.

O.0

2004-09-24T00:02:06Z

wow changes in the update panel.

anyways my english teacher is a tard... i didnt get my grade sheet dern it....

Old Things

2004-09-19T16:43:58Z

Well today I have to work on another photo project. We have to shoot under the category of "Old Things". Me and mother are going to the City to find some old victorian places and broken down buildings. Sounds fun. I have been waiting for this project for a while. The weather is perfect too, nice and dark muahahaha.

Anyways wish me luck on the filmin'!

crystalsdt @ 2004-09-18T10:04:00

2004-09-18T17:05:55Z

My mom is being such a psycho. I swear if I had a gun I would already be dead. If I find one, it's over.

Everything I do is never enough.
Maybe if I fucking shot myself it would mean something to her.

Judgement

2004-09-17T23:34:36Z

I hate the way some people judge others. If you wear glasses, your a geek... If you wear black alot your a goth... if you like pink your a prep.
Some of these people have no idea. Another guy randomly came and asked me if I did drugs. I said no, why do you ask that. He said you wear alot of black so I assumed you did drugs. Plus one of your friends do.

That annoyed me.

My mom still hasn't got a job, which really sucks. She said only her last resort would be for us to move. Speaking of me being on the ledge of shooting myself because I am not going anywhere in life. Another person had the ego to call me a rich *beep* bitch. Yeah that is why you live in a 7 bedroom house and me in a 2 bedroom apartment.

Anyways I am just totally pissed, yes I am a loser. Who gives a fuck. Yes I will probably be a terrorist of mankind. Yes I will probably become a psychotic maniac. What are you going to do about it?

I say nothing, like everyone else.

Bleh

2004-09-17T11:51:50Z

Got home yesterday afterschool and passed out, dunno why. These pills are doing it to me... make me happy then make me pass out.

O.o

2004-09-16T12:00:12Z

Well it was Adriannes B-Day. Britt and Tiff's cake they brought was really good :)

Things kind of messed up in the afternoon though. I know it was her B-Day but she kept talking herself and moving around. When anyone else would talk she would say "shh i have never seen this before" She does that all the time to me tho, talks about parts riiiight b4 they happen.

Oh well.

School has been going so well lately I am quite surprised. I got a 95% on the American History exam that I hardly studied for. I also BS'd the essay lol! Anyways I actually cannot wait for school for once.. hmm I am strange. I think this Birth Control pill does weird things to me, makes me happy, I don't like it lol!

Wheee

2004-09-15T12:50:47Z

Well yesterday was soo fun. We had a half day so school was fast too. I have to say DARN to that cause of one class lol!

Nothing trully evenful happened until fourth hour. I got to the class and the guy I like in the class sat right next to me. *drool* Dark hair and blue eyes 5 stars lol! Anyways we had a test, so I didnt reallly get a chance to talk to him, thats the DARN for the half day lol.

In the class at the last 5 min Amber came over and started saying how 2 of her classes switched. I said let me see what changed. I noticed that she was going to be in my Bio class and I was like AMBER we have science together again! So we started screaming, it was funny.

The Biology class had 5 or more new student from the same switch. It is one WILD class. It's gonna be alot of fun haha!

That's about it for the day.

Half Day

2004-09-14T12:01:49Z

Wheee today is a half day muahaha. The only bad thing is mum is being a queen B! God sometimes I can't stand her.

UGH!

2004-09-11T03:33:01Z

Wow, school was so boring and stupid today. First hour I had nothing to do really. Natalia hadn't finished her pictures yet so I will have to wait until Monday to wrap the film lol. Then when I was bored she helped me learn the math I needed to know for the next hour. The teacher was absent 3 days so he decided to teach us all the material in his 1 day of return.

Good thing Natalia helped me.
So, I am in next hour, the teacher collects reviews, passes out the tests. The students try to concentrate, many not knowing what the hell they are doing. The teacher decides to play tunes from his cellular phone on full fucking blast while we are testing. All of us continue to give him looks (like we are trying to do these impossible tests). He continues. Anyways I finished, as one of the first 3 to finish. He also stopped the tunes around this point. So 10 min pass, only 1 test is left out. A few people whisper. The teacher decides to say:
"Cant you read that blue word on the wall?" (it says respect) "Where is yours?" People are testing, you should be quite, complete silence!"He continues to talk to football players loud as he can. We give him more looks like "you fucking idiot, where is your respect god damnit."

Third hour comes along, we have a vocab test. Then we write a stupid essay thingy.

Fourth hour intro to buisness presentation. Amber and I were prepared with out material. Then Jessica comes in saying "I forgot the graph." (Jess had 2 jobs, make the future economic era prediction, and the graph). Amber and I glance at each other.... (Amber got all the data of GDP, Inflation, #ed material.. I did the past era resarch and current eras research) We had also asked the previous night if she could handle the graph, she said "Yes, no problem."... So Amber and I finish our scripts. We look at her.. she reads 2 lines WE gave her out of ours. Then all she says is "This is our poster of the eras." "Anything else guys?" We said, what about the future prediction. She says "Oh well it pretty much has been up and down... so." Amber and I glance again... To say the least she FUCKED IT UP BIG TIME. She could of read off the poster, made an actual PREDICTION, SOMETHING.

The rest of the day I figured out TIff and Britt are staying. So wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee for that!!! I am glad they are going to stay. =) I don't think our group would stay together without them, they kind of tie it together.

THE END

crystalsdt @ 2004-09-05T16:32:00

2004-09-05T23:35:14Z

Well, I did some photo shots for photo class, was boring but blah whatever... Anyways.

I went shopping today about $280 worth of clothes and a couple other minor things. I got 4 pairs of new jeans, about 6 - 10 tops and 2 CDs. Collide- Vortex (a hits album), and Nightwish- Century Child. All and all was a nice day, but soooo hot outside in Arizona.

Oohh yeah I also got this new black dress at XI. It is black with a little crey and white streaks in it, and the bottom of it flows. The front part looks really nice, it has a corset type front. Really cool.

crystalsdt @ 2004-08-13T12:39:00

2004-08-13T19:43:17Z

Well new neighboors, hmm. I dunno there was a cute guy walking back and forth.. he looked 17-19, I dont know if he was a mover person or if he is one of the people living next door. I will have to spy for a while and figure that out.

The doctor called, I dont have cancer, there is just a few slight problems that later on may need to be handled by surgery.

I hardly got anything new for school :P but oh well. I got maybe 3 new pairs of pants and 2 tops. Oh and 2 pairs of shoes. Mostly everything is black :P except 1 pair of pants.. they are blue/black

O.o o.O

2004-08-11T21:35:44Z

Ok well hmm I figured out I might have a cancer. How fun! I had to get some bloodwork done, an examination, and ultrasound. If anything seemed weird I might need surgery.

Wow school is coming up so fast. I feel so ugly and yuck right now. I really miss some people at school but I know I will miss being home and watching some of my shows like Pretender and Ryan Gosling as Herc *drool* I love hime, for a blonde.

crystalsdt @ 2004-07-25T17:19:00

2004-07-26T00:25:57Z

Well I have had some time to think. As I think of going back to school I wonder who my friends are.
I know I do have people I talk to daily, but I don't even know if they consider me a friend.

I mean Christina, she was a friend. Freshman year Alison and Briana sadly and Jessica were friends.
This year it is hard to say what will happen. Who of them now thinks of me as a friend? I know Chrissy does but she is across the U.S and I talk to her more than anyone I know here.

As far as alison - she has had plenty of ops to talk to me.
As far as adrianne - I heard she is on family vaca, but she did promise to call me in the first week of summer which never happened.
As far as Jessica - She fell ofthe earth
As far as Briana - Off to College.
As far as Krista - Preparing for College but currently in PVCC

This year will suck. Krista was my main bud of the group. Also I would talk to Britt n Tiff, but I don't know if Tiffany considers me anything close to a friend. Perhaps Britt does. I dunno.

Just thoughts...

crystalsdt @ 2004-07-21T08:32:00

2004-07-21T15:33:23Z

One, Two Freddy's coming for you,
Three, Four, better lock your door,
Five, Six, grab your crucifix,
Seven, Eight, stay up late,
Nine, Ten, never sleep again.....

Sugggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar Gliiiider o.0 Gilly

2004-07-20T20:20:45Z

On MSN chrissy was having fun with her webcam. So I captured a few screenies of the glider.

Ack whats on your head!?!

o.0

I fink it's lookin at me, ut oh

Haha, but cool pet chrissy!
Anyways nothing else is going on much. I watched some TV, watched chrissys glider run around.. and now the last message she posted:
chrissy* lovely says:
brb have to go to commissary

crystalsdt @ 2004-07-19T04:46:00

2004-07-19T11:47:28Z

Whew was bored when I wrote that last post. no worries britt haha.

Thought to just post a lyric today.

NightWish
End of All Hope
It is the end of all hope.
To lose the child, the faith.
To end all the innocence.
To be someone like me.

This is the birth of all hope.
To have what I once had.
This life unforgiven, It will end with birth.

No will to wake for this morn.
To see another black rose born.
Deathbed is slowly covered with snow.

Angels, they fell first, but I'm still here
Alone as they are drawing near.
In heaven my masterpiece will finally be sung.

It is the end of all hope.
To lose the child, the faith.
To end all the innocence.
To be someone like me.

Wounded is the deer that leaps highest, and my wound it cuts so deep.
Turn off the light and let me pull the plug.

It is the end of all hope.
To lose the child, the faith.
To end all the innocence.
To be someone like me.

This is the birth of all hope.
To have what I once had.
This life unforgiven, It will end with a birth.

Mandylion without a face, Deathwish without a prayer.
End of hope, end of love, end of time. The rest is silence.

It is the end of all hope.
To lose the child, the faith.
To end all the innocence.
To be someone like me.

This is the birth of all hope.
To have what I once had.

It is the end of all hope.
To lose the child, the faith.
To end all the innocence.
To be someone like me.

It is the end of all hope.
To lose the child, the faith.
End of all hope.

Bleh

2004-07-18T02:17:39Z

Excuse my boredom...

crystalsdt @ 2004-07-15T05:52:00

2004-07-15T12:53:24Z

Well anyways I got blamed again for something AGAIN that wasnt my fault. The surround sound speaker won't work so automatically it is my fault since I figured it out. I think from now on if I figure out something is wrong or is not working I will keep it to myself and then she can blame herself for it being broken. It annoys me that first thing she asks it what did you do? (like its my fault) Just ahead of it I had played a dvd and it worked. Then she blames me cause it was in the wrong plug and I was trying to play a CD... I TOLD her to move it before she continues, and make sure the back is correct first. So she is just as guilty since she did the same thing...
I'm tired of her dumb ass threatening me too. She never trusts me either. I love when I do have things done and she still yells about me to get them done. Then she checks and it is. I sit there and laugh at her then she gets pissy about that. Anyways enough about her.

I'm planning to go and work out this weeked. I think I am starting to get a bit more over weight than I want. Could be from the stress?

\\//Edit\\//

Muahahahaha we figured out it was when the cat got back there some stuff got un-plugged. She still doesn't apologize for blaming me though.

X.X

2004-07-15T02:30:14Z

I am so tired. I havent gotten sleep in a little over 3 days. It sucks like hell.

Anyways nothing really exciting going on. I am just helping a friend in pennsylvania ( or however spelled/spelt?)

Yeah..

~phew~

2004-07-09T19:17:27Z

He never got my name, IMed him again saying sorry and im not really thaaat psycho... and then he asked for my name. SO im guessing he didnt read it b4 he logged of ~phew~

crystalsdt @ 2004-07-08T09:35:00

2004-07-08T16:35:50Z

Haha, talked to this guy I used to like in school last night on AIM, I acted completly psycho.. which I am. I was so drugged up from pain killers and crap that I said some strange things. I had to test him to see if it was really him, asked him some stuff I knew. It ended up it was, oh well.

I'm going to try to patch up some of the things I said, I was going to try to before he logged off but I didn't get the chance. I will explain why I did all that crap. I told him my name, thing is there are strange enough 3. I would be very last in the yearbook too.. Hopefully he didn't leave thinking I am Fisher...

Anyways now Gilly owes me $15 so cough it up 0.o

Oh yeah and at moms work there was a HOT security guard... anyways he kept teasing me cause I got off on wrong floor, happened to be his *EG* but he didn't know it was on purpose... He can tease all he wants though muahaha... <3

crystalsdt @ 2004-07-07T09:22:00

2004-07-07T16:26:07Z

Found this on a xanga... Kind of interesting

A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on a motorcycle...

Girl: Slow down. Im scared.

Guy: No this is fun.

Girl: No its not. Please, it's too scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.

::Girl hugs him::

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? Its bugging me.

(In the paper the next day):
A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. 2 people were on it, but only 1 survived.
- The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug 1 last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.
-If there is anyone in life you love this much, please repost this..

===================================

Anyways, just got back from dentist.. had to have a shot in my mouth. I can't feel my lips, and gums are driving me crazy!!